


Imperfect is Perfect for Me

by InsaneOrange



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Crack, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-25
Updated: 2013-05-25
Packaged: 2017-12-12 22:30:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/816788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsaneOrange/pseuds/InsaneOrange
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marauder Era fic. James finally gives up on ever getting the perfect girl. That's all it takes for the perfect girl to notice him. How is Lily going fix this one? James/Lily</p>
            </blockquote>





	Imperfect is Perfect for Me

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Galadriell who beta-ed this story for me. I swear, this monster wouldn't have been possible without her patience, suggestions and editing skills :D

Lily was late.

"OhmyfreakinggodwhatamIgoingtodoMcGonagall'sgoingtokillme," she huffed as she turned the corner and continued her sprint to the Transfiguration classroom.

Lily was usually late for her classes. But Lily, being Lily, had to hyperventilate every time it happened. She hated being such a tardy fool, but that Alice – I'm sooooooo going to kill her later! – took too bloody long in the shower, and Lily, waking up late, as usual, got even later. Lord forbid Lily ever went anywhere without at least taking a shower. Nuh-uh. That went against Lily's laws of social nature, just like her tardiness.

Finally, she skidded to a halt in front of the classroom. Thanking Merlin for small mercies (the door was closed), she adjusted her hair – Hey! Every girl has her vanity! – and knocked on the door.

"Ah, Miss Evans!" McGonagall mock exclaimed as she flicked the door open with a wave of her wand, "Found the time to come to class?"

"I'm sorry, Professor," Lily said as she slowly went red in the face, "But Alice was- and then I-"

"Quit bumbling and go take a seat." With that, McGonagall turned on her heels and walked back to the board.

Lily stepped into the classroom with all 30 eyes at her. God, she hated being scru- wait. 30 eyes? Where was he?

The classroom door banged open as soon as Lily sat down. James Potter stood there in all his glory, grinning at a scowling Transfiguration professor and scratching the back of his head.

Arriving merely 5 minutes late was a luxury that came across very rarely to James Potter. Being the Head Boy and the star of McGonagall's class, he was allowed to walk in 15 minutes late, he supposed. But today, besides being just 5 minutes late, was a good day for James because he had had a glimpse of Lily just as he had turned the corner. And not the prim and proper Lily, mind you. What he had glimpsed was more precious than gold – Lily Evans, looking all flustered and lacking her usual composure. Merlin, she was beautiful like that! One day, James sighed, she will understand why I love her.

Then he walked in like he owned the room and looked around for a seat.

There were plenty available. Damn Lily's good luck. If it would just stay. But no, after such a great morning – McGonagall allowed her entry into the class, despite being late. What more are you asking for? – there had to be a problem. And that problem involved a certain James Potter.

"You don't want to sit next to me," Lily muttered under her breath, but loud enough for James to hear, as James slid into the seat next to her, "I cause nothing but trouble."

James chuckled. "You're forgetting, Evans, that I am the master of all pranksters," he muttered back with unbridled smugness.

Grumbling under her breath about good days gone bad and then some, she shifted away from James and continued adding to the plethora of notes she had pulled out of her bag.

She kept catching James' eye as McGonagall elaborated on Grant's theory of Human Transfiguration. Habitually, James winked at her and she scowled in response.

Lily mentally cursed Potter. Now she knew how her day was going to go. Potter was going to tag alongside her for the whole day, chattering away. She would completely ignore him, which wouldn't faze him in the least. Then he would talk and stare at her. That would progress to him staring at her even while talking to others! She would start fidgeting and by the time their classes got over for the day, she would be bursting with frustration.

Breathing deeply, she prayed to the house elves of Hogwarts for rice for dinner. After all, she deserved some slack in her now-completely-spoiled day.

 

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"I will walk to the depths of hell for her. Fight legions of enemies, and barely come out alive. She is the sun, the moon, and the stars themselves and I...? I'm just a speck of dust on a rock, two billion light years away. In what world would she ever be mine...?"

Sirius sighed. James had been at it for two hours straight now.

A muffled 'Shut up Prongs!' could be heard from Remus' bed, where the poor fellow was trying to smother himself with his pillow, needing to escape his ridiculously theatric friend. Wormtail was the only Marauder who was still listening to the prat, and James – the idiot – was basking in the little attention he was getting.

"But she never underst-"

James could not finish his sentence, due to being tackled by his best friend off his bed and to the floor.

"Another word and I'll rip off your tongue, Prongs," Sirius growled, sitting on his best friend.

"Ah, Padfoot! You know not my dilemma-" James started to wail, but Sirius cut him off again.

"Are you stopping with the melodrama or should I just let the fangirls in?"

The effect of that sentence on James was immediate.

"No, Sirius," James said quickly, pushing his best friend off him, "I'm quiet. No more love rants. Nothing. Nada. Zilch."

And with a motion that was supposed to mean that James had zipped up his lips and thrown the key away, he climbed onto his bed and pretended to fall asleep under Sirius' glare. His source of entertainment being shut up, Peter went over to his bed and started snoring almost immediately.

James soon fell asleep too, but Sirius stayed up for a long time while thinking about his best friend. James, though not innocent, was a charming person at heart. He tried to make everyone around him smile, he secretly helped second years with their Transfiguration homework, he let Sirius stay at his place, he even forgave Sirius for that stunt from last year. He shook his head. Truly, he had great friends, and with a best mate like James, he couldn't ask for more. But…

Sirius frowned as Lily Evans came into the picture. Merlin, he hated that girl for turning his best friend into a love sick puppy who followed her everywhere. And even though he knew that all the sappy dialogue James said so emotionally was just to annoy them, James really did love Evans. Why would that wench play with his best mate's heart? Why couldn't she see what a nice person he was? Hadn't she noticed that James had even lessened his attacks on Snivellus – the slimeball – and did all of his Prefect duties diligently?

Evans is a fool, Sirius decided as he dragged his comforter over himself and promptly fell asleep.

 

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It was one of those days where everything seemed gloomy and apathy caught onto every student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Instead of the usual laughter and loud conversations in the Great Hall at breakfast, there were low murmurs and barely any giggles. Even the teachers seemed subdued.

All of this could be blamed on the jet-black haired teen with hazel eyes. James was under the weather. This caused the Marauders to be quieter than usual. This caused the Gryffindor table to stare at them, foregoing their usually cheery disposition. And if Gryffindor was passive, which other house would dare be jolly?

Remus Lupin was tired. Last night, he had barely got enough sleep. After his fellow Marauder's theatrics, Remus still didn't sleep well because the full moon was just three days away. And now, what with everyone looking at them, Remus J Lupin was starting to get pissed.

These kinds of days didn't happen often. Usually, James was full of energy at this time and loved to take the mickey out of Frank Longbottom. But these kinds of days were not unheard of either. Occasionally, James did come to the Great Hall lethargic and would play with his breakfast endlessly. He would refuse to attend classes that day and would only leave his bed to come for lunch and dinner. In short, James Potter was moping. He had the ability to sulk spectacularly, as was evident to everyone that morning.

On these special days, he would not even spare glance towards Lily. These kind of days made Lily very uncomfortable because whenever anything was wrong with James Potter, it automatically became her fault and people would glare at her until Potter gained back his usual disposition. His fangirls, Lily sneered internally, with their perfect nails and fluffy hair, would confront her after every class, demanding to make Potter alright again. Lily scowled as a fourth year Gryffindor glared at her viciously. Seriously, she thought, Potter should just choose one of his oh-so-perfect fangirls and quit chasing her. Merlin, it was getting on her nerves now.

All this hostility caused the frizz to refuse to leave Lily's auburn hair. She got up from the house table and stormed off to Morgana knows where because she just couldn't handle it.

James Potter was staring morosely at his scrambled eggs that were drowned in ketchup. He didn't even notice when Lily got up and left the Great Hall. It really was a bad day when he couldn't wolf down his favorite breakfast just because he didn't feel like it. James knew that his bad mood was to last all day and it would reflect on the whole school, but he couldn't help it. He wasn't infallible.

"Mate," Remus said in a low voice to James, "Meet me outside. Now."

James dragged himself after Remus, looking at his feet and letting his friend lead him to the grounds. Sirius just looked at James and hoped that Remus could help the poor bugger out.

Once under the Marauder tree, Remus sat down silently.

"Well?" James asked, still standing and looking over at the Quidditch pitch.

"Prongs, listen to me carefully," Remus started, "because I'm worried about you. Hell, everyone's worried about you when you get into these moods. And you won't disagree when I say that you've been in this mood more than once since the term started, which is worriesome."

"You know I can't do anything about these moods, Moony."

"But you can!" Remus exclaimed, "Only you can! We, and I speak for the rest of the Marauders along with myself, know the reason behind your gloominess. I won't advise you on what to do about it, but Prongs, we don't like to see you like this."

"Like what?" James' voice seemed distant, even as he looked at his friend.

"Like..." Remus hesitated, "Like you're broken."

James inhaled sharply and closed his eyes. Remus grimaced when he saw the expression of defeat on James. But he kept his words to himself. He knew that James has to be the one to think this through because this was James' life. And James isn't a blockhead either, Remus thought. He knew what this obsession with Lily was doing to him. James needs to figure out whether he really loves Lily, or if she is just a temptation for him, like forbidden fruit. Remus didn't want to blame Lily - well, it isn't her fault if she doesn't feel the same for James - but he can't help resent Lily's behavior towards him.

After a few minutes of silence, James spoke up.

"You're right. From now onwards, I won't mope or chase after Evans. I won't let her take over my life to this extent."

"Prongs, we're not telling you to give up on Evans-"

"I know," James interrupted, "But I give up now. It's obvious that she doesn't even like me, let alone… Whatever. But I've used every trick in the book and it's failed and it's time to give up and move on."

Remus shook his head slowly, thoroughly fed up with his friend. "If you're sure."

James grinned. "C'mon, Moony," he said, "Let's go inside and make some noise. How about hexing Snivellus with the Hair Removal spell? Oh no, we've already tried that. Well, how about…"

Remus got up as James chatted endlessly, making plans to prank someone or the other (mainly Snape), and even though Remus could see right through the grin on the face of his friend, he shrugged and followed the hazel eyed teen.

 

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Lily Evans was not in a good mood. In fact, she hadn't been in a good mood since the past three weeks. Ever since-

No, she told herself sternly, I'm not going to think about that.

Taking a swig of her Firewhiskey, she stood up shakily and slumped down again.

It was a beautiful winter weekend, and a Hogsmeade one too. Everyone was laughing and having fun with their friends. Lily was trying to, but failing miserably. The snow just seemed to depress her more, reminding her of the days-

NO, Lily yelled at herself in her head. She shook her head, trying to get rid of the memories that were pursuing her relentlessly. Being a lightweight wasn't helping her at all. The mental barrier that she had put up was slowly crumbling. Right now, she did not have the strength to deal with the onslaught of memories.

"Hey, Evans!"

Lily spun around so fast that she was dizzy for three seconds, before she realized that there was no one there. Merlin, she was hearing voices now!

She slumped over the table with her head in her hands, as she tried not to think. She could sleep, maybe, but she didn't want to deal with dreams. She hadn't had a decent night of sleep ever since-

"Fuck," she mumbled to herself, simultaneously realizing that she needed another shot of whiskey. But as soon as she was about to get up, two blurry blobs appeared on either side of her and ended any attempts of her to get up.

"Lily, what do you think you're doing?" Gracie scowled.

"Huh?"

"Gracie, she's completely sloshed. We should get her back to the castle."

Lily could hear the soothing voice of Emily and she wanted to sob her frustration out, but no, Lily Evans was strong. She never cried. And she definitely wasn't drunk.

"'M not- Let go-"

"Lily, let's get out of here. Please. We need to…"

And Lily passed out.

 

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When Lily came to, she could barely hear the loud voices over her headache.

"Am I dead?" Lily groaned as she tried to smother herself with her pillow.

A cruel hand removed the pillow from her face. A kind one offered her a vial. Without thinking, she gulped down the potion, which she knew was the cure for her hangover. Then again, at that point, she wouldn't have really cared if it was poison…

She shook her head to clear off the remanents of her headache while Emily and Gracie sat beside her on her bed.

"Lily, we need to talk."

These words made a chill crawl up Lily's spine.

"Uh, I don't think it's a good id-"

Emily pushed Lily down as she started to get up.

"We are going to talk and you are going to listen. Okay?" Gracie gave her the glare.

Lily nodded meekly. She knew not to mess with Gracie when she subjected anyone to the glare.

"Lils," Emily said quietly, "We're worried about you. You haven't been paying attention in classes, you haven't bothered to tame her hair… Heck, you haven't even touched rice for the past three weeks! What's gotten into you? You told us to leave you alone, and that you'd get better. We did. But you're only getting worse. And you being drunk and passing out is the last straw. We want to know what's going on. Now."

Lily twiddled her thumbs. She wanted to tell them. She really did. But how-?

"Okay," she sighed, "I'll tell you." Closing her eyes, she said, "Potter's ignoring me."

After getting no response from her best friends, she opened one eye to look if they were still alive or not.

Emily was frowning, and Gracie had a scowl on her face.

Uh-oh, Lily thought, this isn't good.

"That's what you wanted right? For Potter to leave you alone?" Emily asked.

Lily covered her eyes with her palms. "I don't know how I can make you understand this, but-"

"So you were just playing around with him? The moment he turns his attention away from you, you want it?" Gracie spat.

"NO!" Lily cried "It's not like that! I'm-I'm happy that he doesn't like me anymore! But-"

"But what Lily?" Emily asked.

"I-Nothing." Lily exhaled.

"What?"

"Nothing. I'm okay. It's fine."

"Lily-"

"I said I'm fine. I'm okay. Just-please, can I have some time to myself? Please?"

Emily nodded and they both left the dormitory, leaving Lily on her bed. They never knew about the tears she shed.

Lily was completely confused. Her pride was at war with her desires.

'Why…?'

So many years had passed since Potter first asked her out. So many girls would have killed to be where she was. Why did she refuse…?

Lily groaned restlessly. She did not like thinking about Potter. Thinking always lead to headaches and, what with classes tomorrow, she couldn't afford to have one now when it was almost dinner time. She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep tonight and it wouldn't be good for her to continue thinking. But…

Sighing in defeat, she turned the thoughts over in her head. She had never been like anyone else. Always an outcast, a freak even, according to Tuney. She never fit in either in the Muggle world or in the Wizarding world. Glared at because she thought studies and Head Girl duties were important, laughed at for wanting to be an Auror - who will take a klutz like you into the Auror Program? - mocked for not being girly enough. All she had ever wanted was to be accepted as she was. Gracie and Emily had accepted her and befriended her. And she loved them to pieces. But she had never told them of her insecurity of being left behind by everyone. What if they left after hearing that she was afraid to lose them? Would they think of her as a clingy cry baby?

Unwanted tears leaked out of Lily's eyes as she tried to stifle her sobs.

And then, James Potter had come along, declaring that he loved her for who she was. What does that bastard know about me, she thought angrily. He had always seen her calm, composed and sophisticated - the façade she put up for the rest of the school to see so that no one could play with her insecurities. She seemed unaffected by all the taunts directed towards her, but at the end of the day, her façade did crumble. Gracie and Emily were the only ones who had seen that on a few occasions.

How could James claim to love her when he didn't even know a thing about her? How dare he pursue a mirage for all these years? And why… why-

Lily gulped. She had never admitted this to herself even in her thoughts. Whenever she had tried to, her pride had stopped her. But now, she had nothing to lose, did she?

Why and how had he made her fall for him?

She knew that James was the same inside and out. He was an amazing guy, not intentionally cruel, but tremendously egoistic and loved to show off. He was a sap at heart too. Lily had seen him helping others from the shadows, when he didn't even know she was there. He was a ridiculously honest person, lacking tact and yet charming everyone around him with ease. He was nothing like Lily had ever dreamed of in her boyfriend, but he was who Lily wanted. Had wanted since she started paying subtle attention to him.

James could have anyone. There were girls smarter than her, prettier that her, better than her. Then why did he ask her out of all the people? Perhaps I kept refusing him because it would keep his attention on me, she admitted to herself. But the main reason of her refusal was because she didn't want to lie to him, of all people. She didn't want to see the disappointment in his eyes when he realized that she wasn't real. She didn't want him to break her heart and walk all over it. Because if he did, Lily would never be the same again. She wondered if that could hurt as much as it hurt being ignored by him.

"Oi! Come down for dinner, princess!" Gracie yelled from the other side of the door.

Quickly wiping her tears, she adjusted her hair in a futile attempt to look composed and walked out of the door to face the 22nd dinner of being ignored by Potter.

 

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James was trying hard. Really. It had been three weeks and he hadn't looked at Lily once. Well, photographs didn't count, did they? Only Sirius knew about his secret 'Lily Evans Photograph Collection'.

He smiled as he flipped through the album for the umpteenth time that day to his favorite photograph. He remembered that day clearly. Charms exam had just ended and Lily was studying for Herbology that evening in the Gryffindor common room. Apparently, she hadn't slept the night before and right then, she had dozed off on the couch. An hour later, James had returned from his bath to find Lily sprawled on the couch with her textbook on the floor. James had melted into mush at that sight. Her features softened considerably in her sleep and she was even more beautiful when she wasn't so uptight and perfect all the time. Hesitantly, James had stroked Lily's forehead; pushing back a strand of the deep red hair he so loved. Lily had sighed at the contact. That's when he had been utterly sure that he was in love with this girl.

But now…

James shut the album, memories assaulting him. Lily under a tree near the lake, thinking; Lily under the Sorting Hat, swinging her legs; Lily, her face screwed up in concentration as she brewed the Draught of Living Death, with James as her partner; Lily, Lily, Lily…

James wasn't aware when the tears started flowing down his cheeks but they wouldn't stop. How could he just stop loving Lily? She was all he had ever known to be beautiful. Granted, most of the time she kept the mask of the ice princess on her face, but James had seen her without the mask. He had fallen hard for the girl underneath.

He couldn't continue like this anymore. He had to see her. He had to talk to her, to tease her, to just be near her. He missed those green eyes glaring at him fiercely. He was probably the only one whom she glared at so furiously. Well, apart from that day after the Defense O.W.L.

Nose scrunching up with disgust, James took deep breaths as he tried to calm himself. Lily had trusted Snivellus. Been friends with that greasy git. And he had called her a… a… Merlin, this was doing no good.

Quickly grabbing his Invisibility Cloak and covering himself, he sped off towards the Astronomy Tower.

The cool air hit his face as he removed the cloak. The wind wasn't chilly enough to bite, but it had a calming effect on him. Maybe I could bring Lily up here someday, he thought. She'd like it here. He stood on the edge and closed his eyes. The wind ruffled his already messy hair and he smiled. Standing here was like being on a broom in the middle of nowhere. James loved to be around people, but sometimes, he needed peace and quiet. He came up here whenever he felt that way. Yes, he could go flying too, but it took effort and James just wanted to stand here motionlessly, and just be…

He opened his eyes and placing his elbows on the ledge, he leaned down to look at the scenery before him. Hogwarts at night was a sight to behold. The lake glittered under half a moon and James could hear distant sounds of creatures in the forest. He wanted to stay like this, wrapped in this beauty forever…

With a resounding crash, the door to the Astronomy Tower flew open and James jumped at the clamor.

"Noooooooooooooooooooo!" Sirius yelled.

"Prongs!" Remus screamed.

With his hand over his heart, James turned, only to be pulled away harshly by his best mates and wrapped into a tight hug.

"Why would you want to jump, Prongs?" Sirius was near tears, "You never thought what would happen to us if you-if you-"

"Oh God, James. Didn't you think of your parents?" Remus said, tightening the group hug even further.

"Uh, guys," James croaked, "What's going on?"

"I will kill you, James Potter, if you ever tried to do this to yourself and to us ever again." Sirius said gruffly, still not letting go.

"Do what?" James was slowly growing purple as his air supply was cut off.

Finally letting go, Remus turned to Sirius.

"He'll have to be put under supervision-"

"You look after him till lunch, I'll be with him till dinner-"

"Wormtail can look after him till bed time-"

"No pranking anyone-"

"We'll tie him up if he refuses to cooperate-"

"What the hell, guys?" James interrupted, "What are you talking about?"

"Looking over you so you don't try to jump again," Sirius said dismissively, grabbing James again by his wrist.

"WHAT?"

"Now, now, James," Remus said patronizingly, "You know trying to commit suicide isn't the answer. We will talk to Professor Dumbledore too. We're your friends. We don't want to lose you. You understand, right?"

"I'm going to KILL Evans!" Sirius raged without letting go of James' wrist, "She drove you to do it, right?"

"I was NOT committing suicide!" James yelled.

Sirius and Remus fell silent immediately.

Taking a deep breath, James continued, "I just came up here to get some fresh air. That's it. Are you two mental? Kill myself? What am I? A pansy? And Evans has nothing to do with it. I told you I'm over her. I'm outta here."

Remus and Sirius watched James walk away with raised eyebrows.

"He's been going through his LEPC again, hasn't he?" Remus said, looking at Sirius from the corner of his eyes.

"Yeah," Sirius replied, frowning.

"You realize we need to do something, right?"

"Yeah."

"I have a plan."

Remus grinned evilly. Sirius mirrored it.

 

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Lily was looking devastating and devastated, James Potter decided as he entered the dungeons. As much as he loved this completely I-don't-give-a-shit-about-how-I-look-so-just-bugger-off look of hers, he had been noticing that she hadn't been eating or sleeping well and that was affecting her concentration - Okay, so maybe I was paying attention to her, though not so obviously. So sue me- and it irritated him. For heaven's sake, he knew A to Z about the Life of Lily Evans! How could he stand not knowing what was troubling her?

Despite his concern for her, his ego still did not allow him to look at her blatantly. As Professor Slughorn started the fifth theory lecture on Veritaserum, James, not being able to help himself, looked at Lily from the corner of his eyes. Lily was trying very hard to listen to what the old man was saying, but apparently, she hadn't slept well, and was on the brink of getting her face smashed into the desk.

Suddenly, she jerked awake and looked directly at him. For a second, James' heart stopped. But then, he slowly breathed a sigh of relief when he realized that she couldn't see him looking at her, thanks to his position and the blessed lighting in the dungeons.

James started doodling on his parchment because he had nothing better to do. Potions was boring. He would just borrow notes from Lily, like every year. But wait, he realized, we aren't talking anymore. A second later, he shrugged it off. Of course they would start talking before the year ended. And that gave him plenty of time to study for N.E.W.Ts.

James looked around himself, trying to find an inspiration for his doodle (and maybe the cause of Evans' distress) when he was met with the strangest of sights. Sirius and Gracie were sitting at the back of the classroom, whispering to each other.

Right. It was time for apocalypse then.

Sirius and Gracie had hated each other on sight. How well James remembered that day…

"Hey, I'm Gracie and I'm going to be in Ravenclaw!" A chirpy girl had barged into their compartment almost half an hour after Lily had left with Snivellus.

"So?" Sirius raised his eyebrowTM.

"So, I thought all the first years should get to know each other! Who are you?" she asked, plonking herself down opposite them.

"James," the raven-haired eleven year old grinned.

"None of your business." Sirius replied, looking out of the window.

"Meanie!" Gracie muttered, standing up huffily. "Be that way! No one will be your friend if you are like that!"

"Why don't you just go away?"

"You're too good for him, James," she seethed and walked out of the compartment.

Since then, they had never left an opportunity to be at each other's throats. Gracie had always been polite, friendly even, with Remus, Peter and him, but had always reserved her sneers for Sirius. Remus had always thought that they had underplayed sexual tension between them. Maybe they are realizing it now?

As James concentrated on the strange sight before him, Remus and Emily were also talking, sitting on the front bench. Slughorn wouldn't recognize a Muffliato if it hit him in the belly, what with the sound of his own voice ringing in his ears.

"…So, do you think Lily would be okay with this?" Remus whispered.

"Uh, no. But we're doing this to help them, right?" Emily muttered back.

"Yeah. I can't see either of them moping for one more day."

"So, on 18th then?"

Emily smiled.

"Done."

 

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On the morning of 18th November, both parties had cold feet.

"Don't you think we should let them sort this out themselves…?"

"James is going to kill us for interfering. Is it worth the risk?"

But in the end, they could not forfeit. After all, they already had everything ready.

"So, Prongs, what d'you think about some Firewhiskey and celebration, mate?" Sirius asked casually, plopping down on the couch.

James looked up at Sirius, foregoing his staring into the fireplace in favor of frowning at his best mate.

"What's up with you, Padfoot?" James asked, eyes narrowed.

"We've seen that you've been uptight for the past few days, so we thought we'd just relax. Anyway, since when have we needed a reason to party, right?"

"Okay," James said warily. He didn't know what was up, but he would find out. Soon.

 

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"Hey, Lily," Emily said, pulling up a chair and sitting beside Lily in the library.

Lily looked up from her essay blearily, and blinked.

"I was wondering," Emily continued, "if you could teach me the theory behind Veritaserum. I didn't really understand it when Professor Slughorn taught it in class. Can you help me, please?"

Lily could never say no to the bespectacled puppy dog eyes of Emily.

Smiling, Lily nodded.

"So, I'll see you around 5?" Emily asked, standing up.

Hesitating for a moment, Lily spoke up, "Wait."

"Yes?"

Lily sighed. "I'm sorry Em. I haven't been myself lately. I think you and Gracie deserve an explanation-"

"It's okay, Lily," Emily interrupted, "We understand that you need your space."

"Still, I would like to tell you and Gracie about-about-" She gestured to her frizzy hair that she hadn't bothered to style for weeks.

"Are you sure?" Emily asked, concerned.

Lily nodded.

"Then Gracie and I will see you on the Astronomy Tower around 5? We could do the theory behind Veritaserum there, and after that, you can tell us what's been going on, hmm?"

Lily just nodded again.

Still smiling, Emily turned and walked out of the library.

'I'm sorry, Lily, but it's for your own good,' she thought guiltily, as she went to the third floor corridor to meet Remus.

 

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James came up to the Astronomy Tower at five minutes before five. It was getting really suspicious now. He knew Remus and Sirius were up to something. He had somehow hoodwinked Peter (not that it was very hard), who was supposed to accompany him to the Astronomy Tower while Remus and Sirius got the whiskey.

James looked around for any kind of a set up for pranks, when he heard footsteps.

'Must be Wormtail,' he thought and turned to face the door.

He did not expect Lily Evans to be standing in the doorway, with Gracie, Emily, Sirius, Remus and Peter behind her.

James blinked.

But before he could say anything, Lily was quickly pushed towards James and in the blink of the eye, something was thrown over them and Remus quickly cast a spell on whatever it was.

"I'm sorry, Lils," Gracie cackled, "but it was high time!" She bounded down the stairs, laughing maniacally while dragging Emily along, who was looking apologetically at Lily.

Sirius and Remus just shrugged at an open-mouthed James and left with Peter, shutting the door after them.

Lily was shocked. She did not know what happened in the past few seconds, and her brain could not comprehend that she was standing here, on the Astronomy Tower with James Potter. The fact would just not sink in! She felt detached from what was happening, as if she was looking at things from above, as if she wasn't standing just three feet away from James Potter.

James Potter. The name rang a bell. She was supposed to stay away from him, right? She tried to take a step back but met with resistance. She turned around, only to see that there was nothing but air. She tried to move away from him again, but to no avail. It was as if there was some kind of an invisible barrier preventing her escape. Wait, invisible barrier…?

James looked up to see what those good-for-nothing friends, he hissed internally, had thrown above them. What he saw made his heart jump.

A mistletoe. And Remus had cast a spell on it. James was pretty sure what it was.

He cleared his throat to get Lily's attention. Lily jumped.

He just pointed to the branch above them. Lily stared at him for a few seconds before she looked up to see the mistletoe hanging above them, way out of reach.

'No,' Lily's lips moved but made no sound.

 

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James Potter was confused. A part of him wanted to jump and dance with joy because Lily - his Lily - was just three feet away from him with no way out. On top of that, she had the caught-in-the-headlights look right now, which James absolutely loved on her. Mussed up hair, huge emerald green eyes - all of her composure was shattered at this moment. She looked perfectly imperfect, just as he loved her.

But James was also feeling horrible for being so happy. Lily was scared, damn it! She was afraid of being in an enclosure with him. An enclosure which would only free them if they kissed. Which had as much chance of happening as a hippogriff mating with a flobberworm.

Suddenly, Lily slumped to the floor. Acting on an instinct, James flew towards her and was just about to touch her when Lily looked up at him. The look in her eyes made him back up a little.

"Uh…" James started, feeling lame.

Lily was absolutely horrified. She couldn't believe Emily and Gracie would do something like that to her! She would rather sell her own soul than be where she was right now! She couldn't stand being so close to Potter! It just confused her more!

Mortification came along with horror when she realized that she had started crying. Oh Merlin, she was whimpering!

Lily turned her face away from James, who looked utterly baffled. He knew how to console a crying female - just a box of chocolates was enough every time - but he had no clue how to console a crying Lily Evans. He had never seen her cry, and though it was a sight to behold, he'd rather Lily wasn't so upset. He hated being the cause of her distress.

"Um, Lily, er, I mean, Evans, please don't cry…" James stammered.

Lily acted as if James Potter did not exist. She was alone on the Astronomy Tower. La-la-la-la-la. Now only if she could stop crying.

"Lily, stop crying, please," James pleaded earnestly, sitting on his knees in front of Lily, "I'll do anything. I'll stop asking you out. I'll stop-well, I can't-but I'll try to stop crushing on you." Now he was getting as flustered as she was, trying to find ways to appease Lily. And in his haste, he said something he really shouldn't have. "I'll even throw away my Lily Evans' Photograph Collection!"

Now that caught Lily's attention and she forgot her tears. Instead, she blinked at James.

"Lily Evans' what?"

"Uh…" A pink tinge spread all over James' face and ears.

"A Lily Evans' WHAT, Potter?" Lily snarled.

"… photograph collection?" James said meekly, looking anywhere but at Lily.

Lily could not believe it. A PHOTOGRAPH COLLECTION?

Sighing, James sat cross legged on the floor beside Lily and stared up at the mistletoe. He was contemplating the consequences of confessing his love for his prized possession. Lily's bewildered look unnerved him. What must she be thinking? And what would she think if he told her?

"I carry it with me," he said quietly. "I'll throw it away if it bothers you. I wasn't- I mean, I was, but, I didn't mean to stalk you, but… Damn it-" James broke off and sighed again, as Lily stared at him.

"Carry it with you?" she asked in a careful tone.

James nodded sullenly.

"You mean to say that you have Lily Evans' Photograph Collection right now?"

James nodded again.

"Show me."

James raised his eyebrows as he finally looked at Lily. "You want to see?" he asked, shocked. He hadn't expected that!

"Mhm," Lily replied.

He hesitated. He was appalled to find himself contemplating showing LEPC to Lily Evans herself. He wasn't supposed to show it to anyone. It was for his safekeeping. But… this was Lily. And Lily wanted to see the photos. James took out the album from inside his robes and presented it to Lily. "There you go," he mumbled with an ample amount of hesitance.

Trembling slightly, she flipped open the cover.

Not a single sound escaped Lily as she flicked through the album. James was engrossed in looking at her as she turned the pages with a blank expression on her face. He didn't like Lily being so stoic.

After flipping through the whole album thrice, she gave it back to James.

"Why?" she asked, looking into James' eyes.

James smiled ruefully. "I thought it was pretty clear by now," he said, ready for the mother of all tantrums from the girl in front of him.

"I meant, why did you take these photographs? In which I look so- so terrible..?" she asked shakily.

"Terrible according to you, not me," James shook his head as he spoke, not meeting her eyes "These photographs… mean so much to me… I used to look at them and hope, um, that you… liked me back…"

Twiddling his thumbs, James was afraid to continue. How could he tell Lily why…? He didn't really know it himself.

"So, these photographs… Are-are you going to destroy them..?" Lily asked, hesitantly.

"No!" James jumped. Then he quickly composed himself. "I mean… I can if you want me to… It was an invasion of your privacy but… I'd rather keep it, you know..? It's been with me for so long, and I don't want to… part with it?"

"But, why did you create this in the first place…?"

"Uh," James started, wondering if he should recite one of the million speeches he had written and delivered over and over again to poor Wormtail. But he forewent the idea in favor of mumbling. "Um, in these photographs, you look so… unguarded, you know? I mean, you're an entirely different person in here," he gestured to the album in her hands. "And I like it when you're distracted… when you aren't so perfect…" he blushed furiously.

"B-but," Lily stammered, a blush creeping up her cheeks, "Why wouldn't you w-want me to be perfect?"

"I don't know…" mumbled James, "I just… don't… Maybe," he sighed, "it's because I'm not perfect. Sometimes I feel like I'm-maybe I'm not enough for you. But when I see these pictures, I feel like I could be." He fidgeted with the end of his tie. "Sorry," he added. Apologies were always good.

They were silent for a long while. James wanted to say so much, but words wouldn't escape his lips. Lily just wanted to think. Pot- no, he could never be just Potter after this evening, James loved her imperfection… He did not want her to be perfect… What was that supposed to mean? What was she supposed to do now? Everything had changed in a matter of minutes.

Or was he just saying all this because of the 'forbidden fruit' psychology? Could she really trust him? But if he wasn't genuine, why would he click photographs of her nodding off in class, eating messy spaghetti, and sitting by the lake?

She was startled out of her thoughts by another one of James' dramatic sighs.

"Let's make a deal, okay?" he offered, "If you stay happy, I will let you go and destroy LEPC. Savvy?"

Lily was staring at James with an open mouth. What in the world had he just said…?

"You… know…" she croaked.

"Er, sorry?" James frowned.

"You..." Clearing her throat, Lily tried again, "You- you know about my…?"

"Your what?"

"…vulnerabilities?" she whispered as though it were taboo.

James flushed out of embarrassment. She made it sound like a bad thing. "I- um… I mean I- I don't really know your… vulnerabilities," he whispered the last word as she had. "I just know that- everyone has those days, you know? Hell, I have them nearly everyday… So... um…" he trailed off.

"And… and yet…" Lily stumbled over her words, pausing.

James looked at Lily. "Tell me…" he urged.

"And yet you want... me?"

The words just slipped out of Lily's mouth as she stared into those hazel eyes that had haunted her dreams. She suddenly realized how striking James was in the dying light of the sun. His eyes were sparkling in the fiery glow with an emotion Lily was afraid to put a name to. The slight wind swayed his hair in a manner so tantalizing that Lily knew she could never go back to ignoring this gorgeous guy anymore. Not that she could ever, anyway… But now, she knew that she could never even pretend to dislike him.

"Lily," James said gently, "Why wouldn't I want you? Everyone has flaws. I was a git for more than half my life… My greatest weakness is you. You already know that, I guess," he laughed over his nervousness, "but, um… I do, you know, love you…"

"I- you do?" Lily asked, trembling.

"I- what?"

"You… love me? Do you love me? Really?" she asked, her innocent eyes wide open.

James smiled as he looked at the angel sitting beside him. Her hair was blazing more so than ever, and her eyes… Merlin, he wanted her to trust him. He had waited for this for so long! He wouldn't care if Lily rejected him again. He was contented with the fact that Lily trusted him.

Not daring to touch and distort the beautiful picture that Lily Evans made, he simply nodded.

To his horror, Lily started crying again.

"Why are you so- so nice to me?" Lily sobbed, "Even after I've snubbed you all these years? I've been nothing but horrible to you and your friends! And- and I'm not even that beautiful! You could have anyone you want!"

Without thinking, James hugged Lily and she held on to him as if her life depended on it.

Slowly, her sobs subsided as James stroked her back. He was trying to wrap his mind around all that had happened. And he really couldn't… Here he was with Lily pressed against him while he professed his love for her. Happiest day of his life! In a haze of euphoria, he held Lily by her arms and looked deep into her teary eyes.

"Lily Evans, you are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen," relapsing to his I'm-a-knight-and-you-are-my-princess-and-I-shall-save-you-from-the-evil-dragons mode. "No one compares to you. No one ever could. Believe me when I say it, but I have never wanted anyone else but you. And if I had you, I don't think I'll ever want anything else. Will you be mine?"

It took Lily a few seconds to take in all those words. They were such wonderful words. And James had directed them at her. She grinned through her tears and shook her head to clear out the rambling thoughts she was having. No way in hell was she going to ramble again!

"Yes," she said loud and clear.

"WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" James jumped up to his feet, dancing and twirling about in the three foot diametered enclosure.

Without a second thought, he picked up Lily and spun her around too.

Lily was unbelievably happy. James Potter knew she wasn't perfect. And he still wanted her! They could work the rest out!

As they slowly came to a stop, their hearts were beating wildly. Lily leaned her forehead against James' and they stood under the mistletoe for quite a while, catching their breaths. James' hand came up to cup Lily's cheek and, as Lily leaned into his touch while closing her eyes, he gently placed his lips against hers. She didn't dare move while he planted a self-conscious kiss on her. She blinked up at him when he pulled back, their dazed expressions mirroring each other. The mistletoe floated to the ground, spell broken. James started at this, stepping back. They stared at the soft leaves, blushing. James dug his hands into his pockets, blushing. "Uhm.." he mumbled, hazarding a glance at Lily.

"Yeah," she murmured absently.

He swallowed down his nervousness. "So..."

"Hmm."

"We should..."

"Yeah," Lily said, shaking out of her thoughts. "We should go."

James nodded quickly, jerking his head towards the door as he moved towards it. He couldn't help wondering if he had botched that kiss. One would think that with the amount of time James had spent dreaming of Lily, he would have thought of how to kiss her. But merlindamnit! He'd been so busy thinking of rescuing his princess from the evil dragons that he had completely forgotten about true love's first kiss! And now Lily must think he was a horrible kisser and probably wouldn't want to be with him and-

A sharp tug to his sleeve made him turn around. He was pulled forward by the tie, causing him to trip over his feet. Urgent lips sought his as fingers came up to wrench his glasses away. He gasped against Lily, winding arms around her hips and lifting her up. She laughed musically, muffled against the kiss. They spun in circles, her feet dangling in mid-air as he showered her with his love. James had never tasted anything as sweet as Lily's lips. Her warm breath fell against him, causing his stomach to fill with knots and feelings of fluttering Snitches. And he knew that from then on, nothing would feel the same now that he had touched his Lily. She was the most precious girl in the world and if this kiss didn't prove it, her soft hum of contentment did. James nearly swooned at the quiet sound. Lily was doing that because of him! James was officially a kissing god! He broke the kiss with a satisfied sigh. "I love you, Lily Evans," James whispered, admiring her against the setting sun.

Lily wound her arms around James' neck and kissed his cheek, her auburn hair cascading around them. "Then," she answered, "maybe I love you too, James Potter."

"Good," James grinned.

"Now we can go back downstairs," Lily added, winking at him.

"I don't think I ever want to leave this place," James said dreamily, "Let's fly far, far away on my broom?"

Lily laughed - a sound more beautiful than anything James had heard. Lily had been his world before, but now Lily was his and only his. She brushed a gentle finger against his nose and asked, "Are you always this silly?"

"Yes," he answered in all honesty, ready to worship the ground Lily walked on. "I'm always this silly."

"Then let's put this silliness to some evil use, shall we?" Lily smirked up at James. The cackle echoed for a long while.

 

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Sirius Black was one terrified Marauder.

James and Lily had come down for dinner, separately, last night. They had appeared completely nonchalant and not once did they look at each other.

That was the first clue for Sirius.

After they had reached their dormitories, Remus had asked James what had happened between him and Lily as Peter prepared himself as an eager audience.

James sighed as he massaged his forehead.

"Moony, Evans and I are rational human beings. We knew that there was no way out of the enclosure unless we broke the charm. So we just exchanged a peck on the lips and went our own ways. Why are you creating a mountain out of an anthill?"

And that was the second clue. Sirius knew that James and Lily could never be rational in each other's company. It just went against all the laws of nature.

Remus had hummed and gone to sleep easily. Peter had been disappointed that there weren't more details. But Sirius had seen right through it. Why had James not hexed them silly as soon as he had been free of the thrice-damned charm? James was never forgiving like that. Ever.

Meanwhile, the scene was pretty much the same in the girls' dormitory.

"For heaven's sake, Gracie! Nothing happened! Honestly, we hate each other, remember?" Lily said for the umpteenth time, exasperated with the constant flood of questions from Gracie. Emily, though, was sitting quietly. "Something wrong, Em?" Lily asked, as Gracie wailed in the background.

Emily just shook her head. She was too full of guilt to ask any questions. And that is why she did not see the glint in Lily's eyes.

 

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Sirius was hiding in an alcove near the Great Hall the next morning, not wanting to bump into James or Evans.

He had been waiting in the alcove for half an hour before someone tapped his shoulder. Sirius yelped and jumped three feet into the air. Turning around, he saw Remus standing with an amused expression on his face and an apple in his hand.

"Give me that!" Sirius said, snatching the apple from his fellow Marauder's hand and ravishing it without a second thought. He hadn't even touched his dinner last night, damn it! The possibility of James having poisoned the mashed potatoes were too great for Sirius to consider eating it.

Remus scowled. "I don't see why you're looking too much into it, Padfoot," he huffed, "Honestly, did it ever occur to you that Prongs might have thought that we were doing this for his benefit and decided to spare us? What is bloody stopping you from getting breakfast from the Great Hall? Anyway, it's not like he poisoned-"

But a glassy-eyed Sirius swept past his friend, not even bothering to listen to the rest of the rambling.

Remus sighed as he walked behind Sirius. The things he did for his friends…

Sirius nearly floated into the Great Hall as though walking on air. He immediately transfigured two of the spoons into a violin and a bowstring.

An utterly confused student population saw The Great Sirius Black go down on his knees in front of a delighted Gracie, who was practically jumping up and down in her seat. Then he started to play the bloody violin and sing 'Love is Magic' for her!

After the (horrible) performance, Gracie began sobbing uncontrollably. "Oh, Sirius!" she cried, "I've loved you since I saw you for the first time! We are meant to be together! Let us run away from this sad, sad world to a place that is ours and only ours!"

Getting up from her place, Gracie hugged a madly grinning Sirius Black (violin and all) and walked out of the Great Hall, hand in hand, bouncing alongside the dark haired boy.

Emily groaned, dropping her head against the table out of humiliation for her best friend. But Gracie should have seen that coming after messing with Lily and James together, right? Lily and James sat down next to Emily, apparently having decided to eat each other's lips for breakfast. The cat was out of the bag now, leading to loud hoots and applause from several directions in the Great Hall.

"It's been a very good morning, hasn't it?" James grinned, detaching from Lily so he could add ketchup to his eggs.

"A very good morning indeed," Lily smiled.

"So, guys," Remus joining the couple on the house table, while Peter just looked baffled, "when is that love potion going to wear off?"

"Oh, in about three hours or so, I think," James replied, shoving eggs down his throat with astounding speed.

"But…" Emily started saying, picking her head up with a frown on her face.

The couple grinned evilly.

 

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Three hours later….

"… and the wrist should be flicked towards right- if you'd stop snogging the living daylights out of each other- and be sure not to jab your wand…" McGonagall lectured seamlessly as Sirius and Gracie went on with their making-out and groping activities.

13 seconds later…

"GAH!"

"WHAT THE FU-"

Yep, everything was right in the world.


End file.
